7 Ways to Be Your Spouse’s Best Friend in Marriage: Unlocking Lasting Love, Laughter, and True Companionship

In a world where happily-ever-after often feels more like a Hollywood cliché than a reality, the dream of building a marriage based on love and friendship may seem like a fantasy. Yet, friendship remains one of the most essential foundations of a lasting, joyful marriage. The truth? Couples who genuinely like each other fare far better over the years. In fact, a recent study from the Gottman Institute, a renowned relationship research center, found that couples who identify as each other’s best friends report not only higher marital satisfaction but are also twice as likely to avoid separation compared to those who don’t share a strong friendship bond. So, how can we nurture friendship alongside the romance in our marriages?

Let’s dive into seven game-changing ways to become your spouse’s best friend, deepening your connection, keeping love alive, and making marriage not just work, but fun.

1. Create Time Together (and No, This Isn’t Date Night)

One of the first challenges modern marriages face is the lack of quality time. Research from the National Marriage Project shows that couples who dedicate time to shared activities report higher levels of happiness. This isn’t just about scheduling date nights; it’s about embracing the little moments every day. Think of time together as investing in the “friendship bank”—even five minutes laughing over morning coffee or a quick check-in during the day can build the rapport needed for deeper intimacy.

To implement this: schedule “together time” that’s casual and stress-free. Walk the dog, cook a meal together, or share something that made you laugh. The goal? Spend time that doesn’t feel forced. Over time, these small interactions stack up to form a solid foundation for friendship.

2. Embrace Each Other’s Interests (Even the Odd Ones)

There’s a reason you see so many couples attending events or taking up hobbies they wouldn’t normally choose. Supporting each other’s interests is an act of friendship that says, “I care about what matters to you.” According to a study from the University of Colorado, couples who show interest in each other’s passions are more likely to stay together. When you make an effort to engage in your partner’s hobbies, even the quirky ones, it fosters admiration and mutual respect.

Try this: if your spouse loves basketball but you’re more into books, surprise them by attending a game together. Or, if they’re into gardening, try planting something together—even if you don’t have a green thumb. Taking an active interest in their passions builds trust and shows you’re willing to put in the effort to understand them.

3. Communicate with Respect (Even in the Tough Moments)

Good friends don’t tear each other down; they support each other through thick and thin. But communication struggles remain one of the top challenges in marriages today. A survey by the American Psychological Association found that 69% of couples identified communication issues as a primary source of stress. To be your spouse’s best friend, it’s vital to communicate with respect and empathy, especially during disagreements.

To get started: practice active listening. Instead of planning your rebuttal, genuinely hear your spouse out. Then, respond with kindness, even if you disagree. When they feel heard and respected, it diffuses tension and builds trust. Remember, it’s not about winning the argument but about strengthening your bond.

4. Laugh Together—Often and Wholeheartedly

Laughter is the glue of friendship. Couples who laugh together tend to weather life’s storms better than those who don’t. Research from the University of Kansas highlights that shared humor builds resilience, even in tough times. A good sense of humor is like having an inside joke that’s just between the two of you, creating intimacy and positive memories that can’t be replicated elsewhere.

To bring more laughter into your marriage: share funny videos, swap silly memes, or recall a funny memory from early in your relationship. Finding joy in each other’s presence, even on the hard days, keeps things lighthearted and helps you both remember why you fell in love.

5. Be Each Other’s Biggest Cheerleader

Best friends don’t just sit on the sidelines; they cheer each other on through every milestone. In marriage, this kind of support can make all the difference. According to a study by Dr. Terri Orbuch, couples who actively celebrate each other’s achievements report significantly higher relationship satisfaction. Your spouse should feel that you’re in their corner, rooting for them in every goal, dream, or adventure.

Make this a habit by vocalizing your support. Congratulate them on their wins, big or small. If they’ve had a rough day, be the one to encourage them. When both partners commit to cheering each other on, it cultivates a relationship where both of you feel safe, respected, and motivated to be the best versions of yourselves.

6. Share Vulnerable Moments (Not Just the Highlight Reel)

Vulnerability isn’t just a buzzword; it’s the bedrock of true connection. In a world filled with Instagram-perfect photos, sharing real, unfiltered emotions with your spouse builds an authentic bond. Studies have shown that couples who openly express their fears, doubts, and hopes are better equipped to handle stress and challenges together. Vulnerability says, “I trust you enough to see all sides of me,” and it invites your spouse to do the same.

Try opening up about something that’s been on your mind. Maybe it’s a fear about work or a personal insecurity. When you both feel safe enough to share your real thoughts, it strengthens your bond and creates a friendship that’s deeper than surface-level romance.

7. Keep the Romance Alive (Because Friends Can Be Lovers, Too!)

Last but definitely not least: stay romantic! Being your spouse’s best friend doesn’t mean turning off the romance; if anything, it means making it even more special. Studies from the Marriage Foundation found that couples who prioritize romance in marriage are more likely to stay together. So, surprise your partner, send that unexpected “I love you” text, and keep the flame alive. Romance isn’t just about grand gestures—it’s also in the everyday acts of love, like holding hands, making each other’s favorite breakfast, or a random kiss on the forehead.

To make this a regular practice, create rituals that make you both feel loved. Write each other little notes, celebrate even the small anniversaries, and remind yourselves that you’re not only spouses but also best friends who can be silly, sweet, and a little flirty.

The Truth About Modern Marriages—and How Friendship Changes Everything

The biggest challenge for marriages today isn’t simply surviving but thriving in a world that’s filled with stress, high expectations, and constant distractions. While it’s easy to slip into the routines of work, family responsibilities, and life’s ups and downs, choosing to nurture a friendship with your spouse is the secret ingredient to a marriage that lasts.

By prioritizing friendship, you lay a foundation that makes everything else—communication, conflict resolution, romance—that much stronger. As marriage and relationship expert Dr. John Gottman once said, “Happy marriages are based on a deep friendship.” So, lean into the friendship side of your marriage. Embrace each other’s quirks, show up in the little moments, and keep the romance alive.

In the end, building a friendship with your spouse is one of the most fulfilling, enriching, and powerful things you can do. And if you ever need a reminder, just remember: life is infinitely better when you’re married to your best friend.