The Architecture of a Man’s Will: 5 Flying Buttresses to Fortify Your Self-Control

The medieval cathedral stands as a testament not only to faith, but to ingenious problem-solving. Architects dreamed of filling God’s houses with light, constructing walls of breathtaking stained glass. Yet they faced a brutal truth: glass is fragile. Those radiant windows could never bear the crushing weight of stone vaults and roofs alone. The solution? The flying buttress—an external support that transferred the load, turning weakness into enduring strength.

Here is the spiritual reality for every Christian man: your willpower is that glass.

It is beautiful, God-given, and intended to let the light through, but it is perilously fragile. To depend on sheer willpower alone in the face of temptation is to build your spiritual life on a guarantee of collapse. As Joe Barnard insightfully notes, “Men need to realize that human willpower, even among Christians, is a fragile substance. While we need self-control, we ought not to depend on self-control alone.”

The battle for purity, integrity, and righteousness is not won by gritting our teeth harder, but by wisely constructing “flying buttresses”—external, spiritual supports that fortify our frail resolve. Here are five strategic reinforcements to build into your life.

1. Demolish the Approach: Don’t Window-Shop at Sin’s Door

Proverbs 5:8 commands with stark clarity: “Keep to a path far from her, do not go near the door of her house.” This is not a call for strong willpower at the threshold; it is a command to avoid the neighborhood altogether. Sin operates like a gravitational pull—the closer you orbit, the stronger its tug becomes.

The Lesson from David: King David’s descent into adultery and murder didn’t begin in Bathsheba’s chamber. It began on a rooftop when he should have been at war (2 Samuel 11:1). It began with a lazy gaze he entertained instead of averting. He positioned himself where temptation had a clear sightline. Your first line of defense is not how well you resist in the compromised situation, but how diligently you avoid putting yourself there. Willpower is a shallow levee; wisdom builds its city on a hill, far from the floodplain.

2. Declare War at the First Border Incursion

History remembers Pompey the Great as a brilliant Roman general. Yet his downfall was sealed not in a final battle, but in initial hesitation. When Caesar marched on Rome, Pompey dismissed the threat, believing his mere reputation would rally defenses. His delay was his defeat.

The Spiritual Parallel: Temptation rarely arrives as a fully-formed, repulsive monster. It slinks in as a harmless thought, a “harmless” glance, a private indulgence of the imagination. We make Pompey’s mistake: “I can handle this little thing. I’ll stamp it out later.” By then, the enemy is within the gates. Jesus taught that the battle is won or lost in the heart’s first movements (Matthew 5:27-28). Resist the first sinful thought, the first lingering look, with the force you would use against the final act. Nip the rebellion in the bud, before its roots strangle your will.

3. Drag Sin into the Daylight: Confess the Enjoyment

Sin’s most insidious work happens in the shadows of enjoyment, long before the act of commission. We savor a memory. We replay a conversation. We indulge a fantasy. This is sin’s incubation period, where it grows powerful in the dark, warm space of private delight.

The Antidote is Radically Transparency: “Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed” (James 5:16). This healing begins by confessing not just the act, but the attraction. Tell a trusted brother, “I find myself enjoying the attention of…” or “My mind keeps returning to…” This act of dragging hidden pleasure into the light of accountability instantly disempowers it. It fortifies your fragile will with the strength of a brother’s prayer, perspective, and courage. The man who walks alone is the man already lost in the woods.

4. Live Before the Audience of One

The Stoic philosopher Seneca advised his students to live as if esteemed elders like Cato were always watching. He was pointing to a powerful truth: awareness of observation changes behavior.

We Have a Higher Reality: We live coram Deo—before the face of God. This is not a distant, passive observer, but an all-seeing, holy, and loving Father. Satan’s primary lie in temptation is environmental: “No one will see. No one will know. The cameras are off.” The practice of God’s presence—through continual, mindful prayer and worship—shatters this illusion. When you cultivate a conscious, moment-by-moment awareness that you live and move and have your being in the gaze of a God who sees the heart, temptation loses its clandestine power. You are on the ultimate live stream, and the Audience’s opinion is all that matters.

5. Never Spiritual-Starve Yourself Before the Battle

King Saul’s foolish vow forbade his troops from eating during a grueling battle, sapping the very strength they needed to win (1 Samuel 14:24-30). It was strategic insanity.

Yet Christian men do this spiritually every day. We skip the “meal” of God’s Word. We neglect the “hydration” of prayer. We isolate ourselves from the “field hospital” of the church and the camaraderie of godly fellowship. Then we wonder why we feel weak when temptation assaults us. This is Saul’s folly.

The Means of Grace—Scripture, prayer, worship, fellowship, the Lord’s Supper—are not religious chores. They are God’s ordained channels of strength, our spiritual nourishment. To neglect them is to march into battle starved and unarmed. Fortifying self-control means relentlessly prioritizing the things that build control: a mind saturated with Truth, a heart in constant communion, and a life woven into the body of Christ.

Conclusion: Building for Endurance
Self-control is a fruit of the Spirit (Galatians 5:22-23), not a product of mere human effort. Our job is not to become stronger glass, but to be wise architects—humbly recognizing our fragility and diligently building the supports God has provided. Erect the buttress of wise boundaries. Build the reinforcement of early resistance. Install the strengthening steel of confession. Anchor your life in the reality of God’s presence. And continually receive the grace that flows through His faithful means.

Fortify yourself. The Light within you is meant to shine through a life that stands, not one that shatters.