When Prayers Feel Heavy: 6 Soul-Anchoring Ways to Pray Through Infertility

Do you sometimes find it hard to be honest with God regarding the fertility problems you face?

I know that I do. There are moments when it feels easier to offer God a polished spiritual performance—to recite the “right” words, to muster a faith that feels presentable, to tell Him what I think He wants to hear—rather than to bring the raw, aching truth of my heart. Perhaps you’ve been there, too, in the quiet space between hope and fear, wondering how to pray when the waiting stretches on and the silence feels profound.

Infertility, as many of you know, is a landscape of endless waiting. It’s waiting for dates on a calendar, for test results, for phone calls, for the two-week window that holds a universe of hope and dread. It is an emotional pilgrimage through cycles of longing and loss, a journey that can feel intensely lonely even when you’re surrounded by love.

Having walked through secondary infertility for several years, I’ve learned that this journey demands a particular kind of spiritual courage—one that embraces both fierce hope and honest surrender. My guide, and perhaps yours too, has been Hannah, whose story is tenderly recorded in 1 Samuel 1. Her narrative isn’t a magic formula or a guaranteed promise, but a mirror held up to our own struggles, offering timeless wisdom on how to navigate the sacred ground of prayer when the answer seems delayed.

Here are six ways to pray, drawn from her journey and meant to nourish your soul in the waiting.

1. Pray with Audacious Persistence

“Lord Almighty, if you will only look on your servant’s misery and remember me…” (1 Samuel 1:11)

It may seem obvious to keep asking for the very thing you long for, but when prayers echo into what feels like emptiness, persistence becomes a spiritual discipline. We can be tempted to stop asking—to protect our hearts from further disappointment or to avoid feeling like a broken record. But Hannah’s story is one of “year after year” faithfulness in petition. Jesus himself taught us to ask, seek, and knock (Matthew 7:7). Your continued prayer is not nagging; it is an act of faith. It is the courageous declaration that you still believe God is able, that no situation is beyond His reach. Do not quit bringing your deepest longing to Him. Pray with the kind of persistent hope that trusts in His ability to work miracles, even when the timeline is unknown.

2. Pray with Unvarnished Honesty

“In her deep anguish Hannah prayed to the Lord, weeping bitterly.” (1 Samuel 1:10)

Hannah didn’t offer a tidy, theologically correct prayer. She wept. She poured out her soul. Her grief was so visible that the priest mistook it for drunkenness. God is not intimidated by your tears, your anger, your doubt, or your questions. He invites your whole heart, not just the polished parts. Infertility carries complex grief—grief for what isn’t, anxiety for what may never be. Bring it all to Him. Honesty in prayer isn’t a lack of faith; it is the bedrock of true intimacy. He already knows the weight you carry. Speaking it aloud in His presence begins the holy work of letting Him carry it with you.

3. Pray for Peace Before the Answer

“Go in peace, and may the God of Israel grant you what you have asked of him.” (1 Samuel 1:17)

Notice the order here: Eli blesses Hannah with peace before her prayer is answered. She leaves the temple not yet pregnant, but with her spirit lifted. One of the greatest challenges in waiting is the torment of the “unknown.” We can become so fixated on praying for the circumstance to change that we forget to pray for our hearts to be steadied within the circumstance. The Apostle Paul speaks of a “peace that surpasses all understanding” (Philippians 4:7)—a peace that guards your heart and mind even when nothing around you has shifted. Ask for that peace. Invite God’s calm into your chaos. This peace is not a resignation of hope, but a deepening of trust in the One who holds your future.

4. Pray for the Grace to Wait Well

“So in the course of time Hannah became pregnant…” (1 Samuel 1:20)

The Bible notes this significant phrase: in the course of time. There was a space—a gap—between Hannah’s desperate prayer and its fulfillment. We aren’t told how long, only that there was a process. In our instant-gratification culture, waiting can feel like wasted time. But in God’s economy, waiting is often a season of preparation, refinement, and deepening dependence. Pray for patience, yes, but also pray for eyes to see the purpose in the pause. Ask God to shape you in the waiting, to build in you a resilience and a faith that is not dependent on a specific outcome. This season, however painful, is not void of His presence or purpose.

5. Pray with a Heart of Gratitude

“Don’t I mean more to you than ten sons?” (1 Samuel 1:8)

Hannah’s husband, Elkanah, gently challenged her perspective. Her pain was real and valid, but it was also threatening to eclipse her other blessings. Infertility has a way of narrowing our vision until the one thing we lack obscures the many things we have. Gratitude is a powerful act of spiritual warfare against despair. It is not about denying your pain, but about anchoring your soul in the goodness that still remains. Do you have a loving partner? Supportive friends? A comfortable home? Moments of joy? Name them. Thank God for them, specifically and daily. A grateful heart is a resilient heart, one that can hold both sorrow and thankfulness in the same sacred space.

6. Pray Against the Lies, For the Truth

“Because the Lord had closed Hannah’s womb…” (1 Samuel 1:6)

This is a difficult verse, often misused to suggest God deliberately authors our infertility. But we must read Scripture through the lens of Jesus, who said, “I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full” (John 10:10). Infertility, like all sickness and brokenness, is a consequence of a fallen world—it was never part of God’s original design. Well-meaning but harmful platitudes—“Maybe it’s not God’s will,” “God is teaching you a lesson”—can poison your perception of a loving Father. Pray for discernment. Saturate your heart in the truth: God is for you. He is not withholding good from you out of punishment or indifference. The concept of family is His idea. Pray with the confidence that you are aligning your heart with a God who loves you deeply and is moved by your pain. If a belief about God pushes you away from Him, it is not from Him.

Friend, your journey through infertility is seen. Your prayers—whether whispered in hope or cried out in anguish—are heard. You are not alone in the temple, pouring out your soul. May you find, as Hannah did, that prayer in the wilderness of waiting is not just about changing your circumstances, but about being profoundly changed in the process. May you discover His peace, practice His presence, and feel His unwavering love holding you, moment by moment, through it all.